Upper Path Valley Presbyterian Church

1 Corinthians 15:58; James 3:7-10; John 13:34,35

“Living and Dying Without Regret”

Rev. Meagan Boozer

I had planned to preach on themes in Leviticus this week, since that’s where we are in our reading for the Year of the Bible. But after the events of this past week, namely the death of our dear friend Rev. Douglas Kelley, and the death of 16-year-old Cory Jones, there is a more important message that needs to be preached today. That message is summed up in the sermon title for today: Living and Dying Without Regret.

All of us are going to die some day. Not one of us is guaranteed 70 years, 80, 90 years of life on this earth. We all know our day is coming sometime. These deaths over this last month- Linda Harter at age 64, Doug at age 57, and Cory at 16- remind us that life is precious and death is ever lurking.

So, how do we deal with this truth? How do we, as Christians, live our lives in such a way that when we put our head on our pillow at night we have no regrets about how we lived that day? How do we get to the moment of death itself without regret about how we spent our time on earth?

I have three teachings from Scripture that I hope will help us as we ponder this question today:

First, 1 Corinthians 15:58- Therefore, my beloved, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

What I hear in that Scripture is this: Whatever God has given you to do, do it faithfully, and do it with excellence.

If you are a student, be the very best student you can be. Go to school, attend your classes, do your very best to keep alert, do your homework, (and do it well), study hard for tests, do your best on projects and reports, and keep a positive attitude always. You don’t have to be the best student in your class, but God does call you to be the best student you can possibly be.

If you are in the workforce, be the best worker you can be. Whether you are on the factory line, behind a desk, out in the field, or at the blackboard, give it all you’ve got. Be on time, or be early. Speak kindly to your co-workers and do your work cheerfully. Work hard, and work well at the job God has given to you to do.

If you are a stay at home parent, then do so with all your energy. Don’t just plop your child in front of the TV then go off and do your own thing. Be with your child- read, do puzzles, talk, sing, discover life together. What a blessing it is if you can be home, so don’t take that blessing lightly. Parent your child with love and joyful attention from sun up, to sun down.

If you are able to be retired from a job and still be able to pay your bills, be grateful, for God has given you time in which to serve Him and others without the pressure of a workday in your schedule. Oh, I know you have work to do around your homes, etc., but I believe, that if you truly use your time first to serve the Lord and care for people as God commands us to do, your retirement years will be the most satisfying years you spend on earth as you give yourself away for the work of the one who enables you to be retired.

And I must add, if you’re a believer in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, be an active, steady part of Christ’s Church. Don’t consider gathering with your church family optional. Be here. Then you won’t have those nagging thoughts, “I know I should get up and go, but I didn’t.” That’s called regret.

Therefore, my beloved, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

Give God your very best. When you do, I guarantee, you will not have regrets about the way you did these things. That’s worth a lot at day’s end.

The second lesson from the Scriptures that help us know how to live and die without regret is from the book of James 3:7-10:

For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue- a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.

One of the things many of you remember about Doug Kelley’s ministry here were his children’s messages. He really loved to give object lessons to the kids. Wanda Ruby remembers one when he brought in a container and told the kids that in this container he had a power tool. The kids tried to guess what power tool he had before he opened the case to show them. Well, they were very surprised to see what was inside- a cow’s tongue! The lesson was clear: The tongue is a powerful tool and we must be careful how we use it.

Words we say can build up or tear down a person faster than most anything else. I’ve preached on this topic numerous times because of how hurt I’ve seen people get by the spoken words of others. Our choice to not speak to people, for whatever reason; our choice to not congratulate someone for a job well done; our choice to not build up another person with words of encouragement; in other words, withholding the power of words, causes us to live with regret.

Our choice to speak unkindly about others also causes us to live with regret. No one deserves to be hurt by another person’s words. And as Christians, we need to learn how to be disciplined about what we say. I love that line in the movie Bambi: “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.” That’s the truth. If it doesn’t glorify the Lord, and if it doesn’t build up others, just don’t say it. And if you’re with someone who is saying it, walk away. The Scripture clearly instructs us: “Bad company corrupts good character.” Just walk away. We’ve all been hurt by the words of others. Let’s not live with regret because of our own words that we could have changed.

So, to practice discipline in the regard, here is what we’re going to do. Every Sunday we “Pass the Peace.” This is a time during worship when we are supposed to say to a person, “The peace of Christ be with you,” and they are to respond, “And also with you.” Instead, often I hear things like this during the “Passing of the Peace:”

Hey, how are you?

Did you get that e-mail I sent you?

I saw you the other day, but you didn’t see me!
Are you going to that dinner on Tuesday night?

You get my point. When you “Pass the Peace,” we are supposed to be engaging in an act of worship and blessing for each other. We are supposed to be looking right into the eyes of another person, firmly grasping them by their right hand, and saying a peace blessing over them. Is there anyone here who doesn’t need a peace blessing at least once every Sunday? If you want to chat, come early or stay late. But when we “Pass the Peace,” let’s practice tongue discipline, and speak peace over each other. Let’s try it.

The last lesson on how to live and die without regret comes from Jesus’ words in John 13:34,35:

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

I think we should pay very careful attention to the message Rev. Kelley preached here on February 5^th entitled, “Outside the Inner Circle.” The theme of the message was: When the Holy Spirit draws people in, make sure you don’t do anything to keep or kick them out; don’t judge people; don’t alienate people because they are different than you. Welcome all people in to the circle of love that God himself has drawn around the whole world. (For God so loved….the world!)

Why did God choose to have Rev. Kelley preach that message, of all messages, here, for the last sermon of his life? I have two questions/thoughts:

1. Is it because we’re bad? Is it because as a congregation we keep people out, and God wants to tell us to stop doing that? Probably. We do judge

people. We do choose not to warmly welcome people who look a lot different than we do. God can see it in our eyes, and he can see it in our hearts. I pray that God would soften our hearts to all people. (ALL people) so that they and we will know the fullness of the love of the Lord. We must pay attention to this message.

2. Is it because we’re good? Maybe God is choosing us, calling us in a very intentional way, to be an example of a congregation who really, really loves people with the passion of Christ.

My guess is- God chose to use Doug’s last sermon for a bit of both, because we are both bad and good. God wants us to do better. We can always do better. We think we welcome people, but then we create a little circle (most times without realizing it) that says, “I’m in. You’re out.” The people with whom you choose to “pass the peace” with on Sunday mornings maybe an indicator of the size and composition of the circle you’ve made for yourself. God says, “Pay attention. Do better.” (Of course this applies to people at school, at work, in the community…) Who are you leaving on the outside” Do better. You’ll never put your head on your pillow thinking, “Man, I sure am sorry I said “hi” to that person today.” Love all people. No regrets.

So, three things we must practice if we want to live and die without regret:

1. Whatever God has given you to do- do it top notch. No regrets.

2. Be careful what you say. “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.” No regrets.

3. Keep the circle open; always be ready and willing to welcome more people under then umbrella of God’s love. No regrets.

But now I must tell you that there is one more thing that is important for us to do if we want to live and die without regret. But the thing is, you don’t really get to use this one unless the other 3 are pretty solid, because the way you live affects whether people are able to hear what you say.

If we want to live without regret in this world, for as long as God keeps us here, we must tell others about Jesus.

As Bible-believing Christians, we believe that when a person dies, they are either going to live with God, or without God. Heaven and hell. This means that we need to take our call as Christians very, very seriously. Take a look at your bulletin under the heading. “Listening and Proclaiming.” Let’s read that verse from Romans 10 that is printed there: “How are they to believe in one of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone to proclaim him?” Listen, it’s not just about some generic god out there. Dana Baker said he heard more kids talking about God in school this past Thursday than he had ever heard. But what god were they talking about? Were they talking about the God who gave his only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us? Did they have any comprehension about the God of the Bible who came to kick open the door to heaven for us? We must not take people’s salvation for granted- thinking that if they say, “I believe in God,” that that means they know about Jesus. Jesus alone is our ticket to eternal life in heaven. Maybe you’re worried that if you ask someone about their relationship with God, they’re going to think you’re some weirdo. But, let me ask: Which is going to help you go to sleep at night without regret” Let’s make sure we are inviting people into a relationship with Jesus Christ by the way we live, the way we speak (or don’t speak), the way we love each other, and by our willingness to speak openly about Jesus Christ- who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

In closing, I want to say something very important to you: Thank you for your ministry to Rev. Doug Kelley. His years here were filled with physical affliction. I know sometimes you thought he was coming, and he didn’t make it- even for worship on Sunday morning. I know sometimes his medication caused him to falter in ways that were uncomfortable for him and for you. But I want you to know that you should have no regrets about the way you treated him. He loved you, and you loved him back. He considered you his church family. That was a high honor not given lightly. I had already written most of this sermon by the time I went to Mifflintown yesterday, but his brother David asked me after the service to make sure I told you how grateful his family is for how you loved and cared for Doug.

I regret not having spent more time with Doug Kelley, talking, listening, and learning from him. I regret that very much. But I have been so blessed these past weeks as God allowed me to care for his family. They are really something, that family. Oh, how they love each other. Doug & Jaynie taught them how to love each other. They taught them how to welcome new people into their lives- and they do so with humor (as he did), with grace (as he did), and with love (as he did).

We all have things we have done (or haven’t done) in the past that we regret. Today, let’s choose to let go of the regrets from the past, because we can’t do anything about the past. We can only learn for the future. We can only choose today to live our lives differently from here on out- choosing to live for our Savior and our God in a way that blesses the lives of those around us, enriching our own lives in the process. One day we will be called home, and I pray we will go with a whole lot more joy than regret. May God help us, and may we help each other. Amen.

2/26/2006

Upper Path Valley Presbyterian Church

2-26-2006