Upper Path Valley Presbyterian Church

Romans 13:8-12 1 John 3:16-18
December 9, 2007

“Awakening Love”
Rev. Meagan M. Boozer

I’d really like to officially begin our season of Advent 2007 by telling you how strong I am after these 3 months of grieving the death of my mother. I’d like to tell you that I’m back up to 100% after a week of vacation and 2 Sundays off in a row (unheard of!). But if I told you that, I would be lying. I told the choir 2 weeks ago that this is the first time since I was ordained a minister of Word and Sacrament on July 25, 1999 that (in my sinful flesh) I wished I wasn’t a minister. For this month in this year, I’d rather be sitting back in the corner over there with Donnie & Wilma, or the corner over there with Winnie, Alma, and Mary. I’d rather not have to lead “out front.” But since wishing doesn’t make anything so, and especially since I know this wish comes from my flesh and not from my spirit, I am leading, as your minister, by God’s grace.
One might think that familiar songs, familiar decorations, familiar smells of the season would be comforting at a time of loss. They’re not. At least for me they’re not. They make it worse. I don’t understand it, but it’s just the way it is. And I wanted to get all of that off my chest right off the bat because I don’t want to look like I’m all fine one minute, and then have you see me up here with tears rolling down my face and have you wonder what’s wrong. I want you to know what’s wrong before it happens. It’s Christmas and my mom is not here. This woman who cast a shadow over so much of my life has left a bit of a draft in her wake that is tough to comprehend.
But many of you have done this, too. Many of you are doing it right now for you have lost loved ones, too, this year. And many of you have endured other kinds of losses that are magnified at this time of year. Talk shows emphasize the struggle many people have at this time of year, perhaps because the media gives such a perfect picture of perfect people in perfect families having the perfect Christmas celebrations together. This can be a tough time of year for many of us. So with all this in mind, I want to show you something I learned over my time of rest last week.
Here are three jars. They are all the same size. In the first jar we can put a large, soft ball – squish it in really well. It takes up almost the whole jar, doesn’t it? Grief, in its first phase, is like this. It takes over your life, even seems to make it hard to breathe at times.
Now, here in the next jar (the same size as the first), we put a smaller ball. This ball doesn’t take up as much room, making it easier to fit into the jar, and definitely more mobile within the jar. As time passes, grief doesn’t take up as much of your life.
Finally, here is the last jar with a ball that is smaller still. This is the goal – to have your grief get to the point that it is there, but very manageable with the rest of your life.
The problem with this is that it is dependent on me getting the grief to a manageable level.
I learn how to compartmentalize it,
I learn how to talk about it, or not,
I learn,
I do,
I manage.
It makes me tired just thinking about it – and grief already messes with your energy level.
But what about this model:
Here I have three jars – three different sizes – small, medium, and large. I think this model is more of a biblical model for dealing with our losses than the other.
When we have a loss: whether a loss to death, the loss of financial stability, the loss of a job, of a relationship, of a dream, the loss of a home, of our health, the loss of hope, or the loss of a sense of purpose or self-worth, the loss is a real object in our lives, isn’t it? This model teaches us that the loss is the loss is the loss; it doesn’t really change or grow bigger or smaller. This model teaches us that we must change. We must allow ourselves the opportunity to grow around the losses we encounter in life (and there are many), trusting God to grow our character as we ask Him to help us make it through the valleys that are so much a part of life on this old earth.
How do we do this?
“Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet”; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law. Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; the night is far gone, the day is near. Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.”

Owe no one anything,
except to love one another.

Don’t let yourself fall into a contended slumber about the gift of your salvation no matter what trouble you’ve seen, no matter what losses you have endured.
We must remain awake to the work of God around us. We must keep on task of attending to the Church – the Bride of Christ – in preparation for the return of the Bridegroom, who is Jesus, the babe from Bethlehem.
Mary and Joseph were engaged to be married. However, in Jewish tradition of the time, this meant they were already husband and wife. When Mary was given to Joseph by her father, a ceremony would have been held in which Joseph and Mary would drink from the same cup, a shared cup of wine, symbolizing the blessing of their new covenant relationship. This ceremony was the beginning of the marriage relationship. Immediately following the sharing of the cup, the husband would go off to prepare his house for his wife, and the wife would remain in her home preparing herself to leave and cleave to her husband whenever he would return for her. Both the husband and the wife were completely committed to each other, and committed to preparing for the time when they would be together as God intended.
We are the Bride of Christ. We are in the betrothal period. God has committed himself to us in the sending of Jesus to the world. When he lifted the cup at the Last Supper to share with his disciples, and they drank the cup of blessing with him, a covenant was made that both the Bride and the Bridegroom would intentionally move into a time of preparation until the Bridegroom would return. This is what Advent is really about – celebrating the coming of Jesus and anticipating his return one day.
Remember, Jesus said, “I go to prepare a place for you.” In Revelation 21:2 we read that John saw in his vision, “The holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” This does not mean that the new city is the bride. This means that the beauty of the holy city (with its gold, jewels, gates of pearl) is meant to match the radiant beauty of the Church as she is joined in perfect love to the One who died to save her.
“Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law . . . Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; the night is far gone, the day is near. Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.”
We must be awake, not asleep, not immune, not apathetic, not afraid – but awake to the work of love, a love that is not defined as the world defines it – but love defined by God.
1 John 3:16-18
We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help? Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.
If this smallest jar is me, carrying all the losses, disappointments, regrets, hurts, & sadness of my life, the only way I can grow with it (the only way I have grown with it) is to remain awake to the gift of love, not with empty words, but in truthful action.
Truthful action is action that is motivated by, and full of, the love of Christ. This includes attending to the Church, the Bride of Christ. Making this sanctuary beautiful to celebrate Christ’s birth would be nothing but interior decorating if it was not done in love. Truthful action, according to this scripture is all action done for the sake of sharing Christ’s sacrificial love with others.
It includes sharing this covenantal meal with Jesus. It includes repentance, forgiveness, telling the truth, keeping our lips from slander, and offensive language, as an act of love towards those around us. It includes visiting the sick and the lonely. It includes hugging the children around you, inviting a stranger over for lunch. It includes filling up someone else’s fuel tank, or taking a roast over to a neighbor.
Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.
Tonight, TV viewers will have the opportunity to watch a movie presented by Oprah Winfrey based on the new book by Mitch Albom who wrote Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven. The new book For One More Day starts with a young sports reporter approaching former baseball player Chick Benetto. Chick's first words are, "Let me guess. You want to know why I tried to kill myself." From there the story of Chick's life is told in his voice, and the reader hears it as if he or she is the sports reporter sitting there listening to him.
When Chick tries to commit suicide, he wakes up in a world between life and death where he gets to spend one more day with his mother, who dies 8 years earlier. Chick was supposed to be with his mother the day she died, and he still harbors guilt over the fact that he wasn't.
The story moves back and forth between memories of Chick's childhood and adolescence, and the action taking place between Chick and his dead mother. Ultimately, it is a story of redemption and making peace with one's past. It is a story of love, family, mistakes and forgiveness.
The problem, folks, is that this kind of feel-good movie doesn’t deal in truth. A story like this keeps us living in a world of “what if.” What if I could have one more day with a loved one, what if I could take back saying that thing I said, what if I could make a different decision about this or that, what if…
We need to learn to live with what is. We need to grow with what is. Because no matter how good or how bad it all is right now, what we choose to do today with what Jesus died to give us, makes a difference in the growth that comes tomorrow.
True, pure, beautiful love came down at Christmas. Its name is Jesus. He showed us how to love in truthful action. There was fake or boastful or pretentious or egotistical in him. Just think of the loss he lived with on earth – the loss of heavenly glory! But love overflowed from him, and it can do the same in us if we will open our hearts to his awakening love. And look what happens: When you allow love to be the motivator in your life, you can still see the loss in the midst of the love because the loss doesn’t go away. In fact, nothing or no one can fill that same space, because that space is already occupied. However, as we minister to one another in truthful action, the losses we have experienced help to color the love we share in a way that makes it unique to us and a true expression of compassion for others. What a gift that will be for us this Christmas – a gift that will not only bless our lives, but will bless the lives of those whom God has placed around us. Little children, let us love, not in words or in speech, but in truth and action.

“Oh come to our hearts, Lord Jesus,
there is room in our hearts for Thee.”
Amen.

Upper Path Valley Presbyterian Church

12-09-07