Luke 24:36-53; 2 Corinthians 1:3-7
April 26, 2009
“The Comfort of Jesus”
Rev. Meagan Boozer
I can say, without a doubt, that the week before Easter and the week after Easter this year, were the most intense weeks I have been through in ten years of ordained ministry. Watching Mary Hart slowly fade away, observing and feeling the pain and grief of her family each day was agonizing. Standing with Jim Fogal and Jama as they listened to doctors’ and nurses’ reports, looking into Eleanor’s eyes, praying, praying, praying for clear answers and God’s mercy, ripped into the depths of the soul.
The result for Mary and Eleanor is great – they are free from bodies that held them back – living now in the company of their Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer – God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. The result for their families is not as great. These families, like all families do after such losses, have to figure out how to keep living with faith, courage, and grace.
Once the funerals were over, and all was organized and in place for our Mission Sunday, after worship last Sunday cookies were baked with some of the youth to send out in care packages for our college students, then (of all weeks), as Moderator of the Presbytery this year, I had to convene the first commission of the year to install a pastor at the Mechanicsburg Presbyterian Church. By the time I got home on Sunday evening, I had nothing left. Two times, in the early morning hours on Monday, I woke up weeping.
Once the adrenaline stopped flowing, once I didn’t have anything else I had to “accomplish,” all the stuff that had been stirred up inside of me came to the surface. And it made me wonder, (I think in a very healthy way), how we minister to one another in times of sorrow and trouble, when that adrenaline is not flowing so freely. Some among us do well with this kind of ministry, but others hang back – though we are all called in Romans 12:5 to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. And so it seemed appropriate, and perhaps even imperative today to learn together how we can all care for one another in ways that bless each other’s lives, and bless the Lord who called us together here in this place, to be his sons and daughters of grace.
Let’s look now at the Scriptures to find the guidance we need.
Luke 24:36-53 36While they were talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” 37They were startled and terrified, and thought that they were seeing a ghost. 38He said to them, “Why are you frightened, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? 39Look at my hands and my feet; see that it is I myself. Touch me and see; for a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” 40And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet. 41While in their joy they were disbelieving and still wondering, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” 42They gave him a piece of broiled fish, 43and he took it and ate in their presence.
44Then he said to them, “These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you—that everything written about me in the law of Moses, the prophets, and the psalms must be fulfilled.” 45Then he opened their minds to understand the scriptures, 46and he said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Messiah is to suffer and to rise from the dead on the third day, 47and that repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. 48You are witnesses of these things. 49And see, I am sending upon you what my Father promised; so stay here in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.”
50Then he led them out as far as Bethany, and, lifting up his hands, he blessed them. 51While he was blessing them, he withdrew from them and was carried up into heaven. 52And they worshiped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy; 53and they were continually in the temple blessing God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-7 3All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. 4He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 5You can be sure that the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 6So when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your benefit and salvation! For when God comforts us, it is so that we, in turn, can be an encouragement to you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. 7We are confident that as you share in suffering, you will also share God’s comfort.
I have observed many people who want to reach out to a person or a family going through hard times, but they fear they won’t know what to do, or what to say. Is that you, sometimes? That’s me, lots of times. I remember when someone my mom knew was in the hospital or very sick at home, I would ask her, “don’t you want to go visit them?” Her response was often, “No. I can’t handle it.” She was afraid she wouldn’t know what to say, or what to do, or she was afraid she would say something stupid and make it worse, or afraid that she would cry and be more of a burden than a comfort. (Often she would eventually go visit and feel better having gone, but getting her to do it was tough sometimes.)
Based on Jesus’ visit with his followers after his resurrection that we just read about, there are some specific guidelines we can follow to help ease our discomfort, and help each other in times of sorrow and trouble. After spending all of Lent learning about love, it is important for us to put it into action in ways that push us to minister in the ways of Christ because that is how we grow in faith. And if we’re not growing, we’re stagnating – which is not in any way, shape, or form God’s will for our lives.
First, notice that the disciples were in quite an agitated state. They were afraid, they were doubting what they had believed by faith. When we go through the valley of the shadow of death with someone we love, we are always battling fears and doubt. It’s part of being human. It’s part of what the apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13 when he said, “Now we see through a mirror dimly.” We don’t see everything clearly here on earth, and so when pushed against the wall, we battle fear and doubt. Jesus came and stood among them. The word among is a preposition indicating that somebody is surrounded by people, things, ideas, or circumstances. In other words, to come and stand among his followers means that Jesus was willing to be with them, be surrounded by them, and surrounded by all of their roller-coaster emotions.
Often, when an individual or family is going through a tough time, we stay away because (like my mom) we ourselves give in to fear and doubt. “I can’t handle it,” we convince ourselves. We might hand a pan of food in the door, but we reject the invitation to come in for a visit because we think or even say, “I don’t want to intrude.” Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.”
Just think about going into a place of fear and doubt and sorrow, standing shoulder to shoulder with people you care about, and saying what we say here on Sunday mornings, “May the peace of Christ be with you.” Not another word would have to be said.
I recently bought a book entitled, Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart by Dr. Kenneth Haugk. The title is based on Proverbs 25:20, “Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” In other words, as uncaring as it is to rip someone’s coat off of them on a cold day, as messy as it becomes when you pour vinegar on baking soda, you can expect the same kind of results if you say cheery things to a person with a heavy heart. Now, when I started to read the book, I was feeling worried about all the singing I do with people and their families in times of grief. But I was assured in the book that this proverb doesn’t mean that we should avoid music around heavy hearts. What it is speaking about is the false cheeriness of caregivers and visitors who gloss over the sufferer’s pain with lighthearted words or sunny phrases. For someone who has lost a baby (whether pre-born, or still-born) people say, “You’ll have other children.” Or perhaps you have had to endure the tragedy of burying one of your children. “At least you have other children…” someone might say. Or maybe your spouse dies and someone says, “God must have need a great cake-baker in Heaven…” False cheeriness is meant well, but it is just best left unspoken.
How many of us have been in times of deep sorrow, confusion, doubt, and pain, and have had someone say something to us that hurt instead of helped - probably every single one of us because often we go into a situation, or we make a phone call, and we feel like we have to say something to “fix” the problem. The author writes (p. 48), “Singing songs to a heavy heart can be an automatic reaction to suffering, like a music box wound up and set into motion. I see pain and suffering in front of me? I have to do something to make it go away. One person said it for all: “I have felt a powerful urge to try to give answers and fix the problem or try to relieve their pain. My struggle is to keep my hands off and listen. I know now that I have selfishly tried to relieve my own anxieties about another’s pain by trying to fix it and make it go away. This is me-centered, not other-centered.” Dr. Haugk’s counsel is this: “Instead of resisting or denying your anxieties and feelings of helplessness, use them to help you relate more compassionately to those who are suffering. Give even these parts of yourself to God in prayer and ask him to use you, despite your fears and concerns. He will.”
Now, this does not mean that the people you are ministering to won’t lead a conversation in the direction of thanks and praise to God – they may. They may not. But if they do, as Job was able to do in his time of darkness, you have permission to listen, not necessarily lead, to agree, not necessarily augment, to allow them to sing songs of faith to their own heavy heart, and then you know you are not pushing where they are not ready to go.
Jesus stepped among his troubled friends and said, “Peace be with you.” Notice what he doesn’t say. He doesn’t say something like, “I know this is a hard time for you, but let me tell you how hard it was for me when I was being tortured and crucified.”
When we’re unsure of what to say, we often fall back on our own experiences. Somehow we think that if we share how we felt during something similar in our lives a connection might be created that is comforting. Usually however, this practice is not helpful. When someone is hurting, unless a specific question is asked about our own experiences, we should resist the urge or even the need inside of us to tell “our story.” This moment is about their story; this family is deep in it; their minds are swirling and their hearts are breaking. For weeks, even months after, we should resist verbally connecting their present pain to our past pain, trusting that God will continue to comfort us as we comfort others.
So far from this passage, we’ve learned when people are hurting, we should go and stand among them, and speak God’s peace in their midst. We’ve learned not to let “canned” phrases come out of our mouths to try to cheer someone up. We’ve learned to let this time be about them, not about us.
What else does Jesus do? After he shows them his hands and side, he asks for food, and he eats it with them. He doesn’t rush off. He is “among them.” He is not afraid to stay with them. I don’t think we are very good at this. I know I’m not. I have been taught in seminary and other classes to keep visits with people to about 15-20 minutes. I’ve heard people speak about pastors who show up and won’t leave them alone. I don’t want to be that pastor. I’ve heard of pastors who come and eat people out of house and home. I definitely don’t want to be that pastor, either. But Jesus is teaching us something here – that it is okay to linger – to share a bite together. Maybe these disciples were so full of anxiety that it had been quite a while since they had eaten anything. That happens a lot in times of deep sorrow. Maybe in his peace-filled presence, they were finally able to fulfill the basic need of taking care of their bodies with food and drink. It’s something to consider.
And then, he spoke the truth of the scriptures to them. If you walk into a circumstance where people you care about are clothed in sorrow and grief, and stand or sit among them and say nothing more than “Peace be with you,” you’re providing what is called “The Ministry of Presence,” which is a very important ministry. Additionally, if you take your Bible in, or perhaps just a book of Bible promises, and read a couple of passages that you picked out before you walked in the door, you raise the faith in the room and do battle with the fears and doubts on behalf of your friends. You might quietly ask, “I’d like to read a couple of short verses. Is that okay with you?” This is a gift because often the family gets more emotional than they already are when they try to read the scriptures on their own. The power in God’s word can tear down our emotional defenses, but it can and does also build up our faith.
Finally, Jesus blessed them. There is tremendous power in the spoken blessing! We don’t have the particular words that he spoke, but we know that a blessing is meant to confer life and peace upon the other. And so a simple, “The Lord is with you. The Lord bless you,” is powerful and effective. And so, here’s a summary of what we’ve learned:
Go, be among the hurting. Don’t keep your distance. Share the comfort that you yourself have received from God.
Speak God’s peace out loud.
Don’t try to fix someone’s pain with false cheery phrases. Dr. Hougk wrote this little prayer, “Lord curb my clichés. When a platitude wants to pop out, put a plug in it for me. Stifle my simple fixes of others’ hurts. Let my words be yours, and speak the loving care of Christ through me, which is what you want those who are suffering to hear. Amen.” (p. 103)
Linger, perhaps share a bite of food or a cup of water with them (this is partly why we encourage a meal after a funeral – to allow time to linger together). It’s comforting.
Speak out a blessing before you leave.
Now, finally, in the Gospel of John, chapter 20, we have a similar account of Jesus coming to his disciples. But in John’s account, Jesus breathes on his disciples and says, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” This is a reminder to us that we, as believers, do not minister alone. We have the Holy Spirit within us. Jesus promised to send the comforter, the counselor, the teacher, the one who will remind us of all Jesus taught. The Holy Spirit lives within us – resides among us – and will help us know what to say, what not to say, what to do, and what not to do for those going through sorrowful times.
As members of the family of God, it is not okay to back away from a person who is struggling just because we’re afraid that we will mess up. We must choose to trust God’s Holy Spirit within us, we need to pray and pray some more, and we need to do as Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians: comfort others as we ourselves have been comforted.
I’d like to complete this sermon by reading the Epilogue from Dr. Hough’s book, Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart (pp. 149,150)
“I began this book by telling you that it comes “out of the fire.” It comes out of the fire of my hot sorrow and my resolve to make life more bearable for others who are suffering. It also comes from the fire of conviction. I have been the recipient of some very helpful caring and relating. I have even managed to do the right thing at the right moment myself from time to time. So I am convinced that what I am urging is attainable.
Caring in ways that meet the deepest needs of those who are hurting is within everyone’s power. Yours too, because it is within the power of Jesus Christ who is at work in you and through you. Those I interviewed for this book were asked this question, “What is your vision for yourself in being able to relate to those experiencing pain and suffering?” Among the many excellent answers I received, one person’s vision stands out:
I am a conduit of grace. As I enter a room,
I bring the full resources of God’s grace with me. My vision is to be such a presence
that one who hurts may drink deeply of this wonderful grace of God.
This person summarizes my hope for you. I hope you will be such a conduit as you encounter hurting individuals. And I hope that people with such a vision will surround you and bear you up when you are in the grip of life’s hurts and pains. Because of your desire to help, not hurt, and your prayerful compassion for others, I know you can be God’s grace to those who are suffering. Like the Good Samaritan in Luke 10, you are the one who will stop and give aid to the beaten person by the side of the road. You are the one.
I encourage you to enter into the fire of the suffering of others, to be God’s loving presence to them. And so I send you off with this blessing from 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24,
“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.” Amen.
April 26, 2009
“The Comfort of Jesus”
Rev. Meagan Boozer
I can say, without a doubt, that the week before Easter and the week after Easter this year, were the most intense weeks I have been through in ten years of ordained ministry. Watching Mary Hart slowly fade away, observing and feeling the pain and grief of her family each day was agonizing. Standing with Jim Fogal and Jama as they listened to doctors’ and nurses’ reports, looking into Eleanor’s eyes, praying, praying, praying for clear answers and God’s mercy, ripped into the depths of the soul.
The result for Mary and Eleanor is great – they are free from bodies that held them back – living now in the company of their Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer – God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. The result for their families is not as great. These families, like all families do after such losses, have to figure out how to keep living with faith, courage, and grace.
Once the funerals were over, and all was organized and in place for our Mission Sunday, after worship last Sunday cookies were baked with some of the youth to send out in care packages for our college students, then (of all weeks), as Moderator of the Presbytery this year, I had to convene the first commission of the year to install a pastor at the Mechanicsburg Presbyterian Church. By the time I got home on Sunday evening, I had nothing left. Two times, in the early morning hours on Monday, I woke up weeping.
Once the adrenaline stopped flowing, once I didn’t have anything else I had to “accomplish,” all the stuff that had been stirred up inside of me came to the surface. And it made me wonder, (I think in a very healthy way), how we minister to one another in times of sorrow and trouble, when that adrenaline is not flowing so freely. Some among us do well with this kind of ministry, but others hang back – though we are all called in Romans 12:5 to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. And so it seemed appropriate, and perhaps even imperative today to learn together how we can all care for one another in ways that bless each other’s lives, and bless the Lord who called us together here in this place, to be his sons and daughters of grace.
Let’s look now at the Scriptures to find the guidance we need.
Luke 24:36-53 36While they were talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” 37They were startled and terrified, and thought that they were seeing a ghost. 38He said to them, “Why are you frightened, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? 39Look at my hands and my feet; see that it is I myself. Touch me and see; for a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” 40And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet. 41While in their joy they were disbelieving and still wondering, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” 42They gave him a piece of broiled fish, 43and he took it and ate in their presence.
44Then he said to them, “These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you—that everything written about me in the law of Moses, the prophets, and the psalms must be fulfilled.” 45Then he opened their minds to understand the scriptures, 46and he said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Messiah is to suffer and to rise from the dead on the third day, 47and that repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. 48You are witnesses of these things. 49And see, I am sending upon you what my Father promised; so stay here in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.”
50Then he led them out as far as Bethany, and, lifting up his hands, he blessed them. 51While he was blessing them, he withdrew from them and was carried up into heaven. 52And they worshiped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy; 53and they were continually in the temple blessing God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-7 3All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. 4He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 5You can be sure that the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 6So when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your benefit and salvation! For when God comforts us, it is so that we, in turn, can be an encouragement to you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. 7We are confident that as you share in suffering, you will also share God’s comfort.
I have observed many people who want to reach out to a person or a family going through hard times, but they fear they won’t know what to do, or what to say. Is that you, sometimes? That’s me, lots of times. I remember when someone my mom knew was in the hospital or very sick at home, I would ask her, “don’t you want to go visit them?” Her response was often, “No. I can’t handle it.” She was afraid she wouldn’t know what to say, or what to do, or she was afraid she would say something stupid and make it worse, or afraid that she would cry and be more of a burden than a comfort. (Often she would eventually go visit and feel better having gone, but getting her to do it was tough sometimes.)
Based on Jesus’ visit with his followers after his resurrection that we just read about, there are some specific guidelines we can follow to help ease our discomfort, and help each other in times of sorrow and trouble. After spending all of Lent learning about love, it is important for us to put it into action in ways that push us to minister in the ways of Christ because that is how we grow in faith. And if we’re not growing, we’re stagnating – which is not in any way, shape, or form God’s will for our lives.
First, notice that the disciples were in quite an agitated state. They were afraid, they were doubting what they had believed by faith. When we go through the valley of the shadow of death with someone we love, we are always battling fears and doubt. It’s part of being human. It’s part of what the apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13 when he said, “Now we see through a mirror dimly.” We don’t see everything clearly here on earth, and so when pushed against the wall, we battle fear and doubt. Jesus came and stood among them. The word among is a preposition indicating that somebody is surrounded by people, things, ideas, or circumstances. In other words, to come and stand among his followers means that Jesus was willing to be with them, be surrounded by them, and surrounded by all of their roller-coaster emotions.
Often, when an individual or family is going through a tough time, we stay away because (like my mom) we ourselves give in to fear and doubt. “I can’t handle it,” we convince ourselves. We might hand a pan of food in the door, but we reject the invitation to come in for a visit because we think or even say, “I don’t want to intrude.” Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.”
Just think about going into a place of fear and doubt and sorrow, standing shoulder to shoulder with people you care about, and saying what we say here on Sunday mornings, “May the peace of Christ be with you.” Not another word would have to be said.
I recently bought a book entitled, Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart by Dr. Kenneth Haugk. The title is based on Proverbs 25:20, “Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” In other words, as uncaring as it is to rip someone’s coat off of them on a cold day, as messy as it becomes when you pour vinegar on baking soda, you can expect the same kind of results if you say cheery things to a person with a heavy heart. Now, when I started to read the book, I was feeling worried about all the singing I do with people and their families in times of grief. But I was assured in the book that this proverb doesn’t mean that we should avoid music around heavy hearts. What it is speaking about is the false cheeriness of caregivers and visitors who gloss over the sufferer’s pain with lighthearted words or sunny phrases. For someone who has lost a baby (whether pre-born, or still-born) people say, “You’ll have other children.” Or perhaps you have had to endure the tragedy of burying one of your children. “At least you have other children…” someone might say. Or maybe your spouse dies and someone says, “God must have need a great cake-baker in Heaven…” False cheeriness is meant well, but it is just best left unspoken.
How many of us have been in times of deep sorrow, confusion, doubt, and pain, and have had someone say something to us that hurt instead of helped - probably every single one of us because often we go into a situation, or we make a phone call, and we feel like we have to say something to “fix” the problem. The author writes (p. 48), “Singing songs to a heavy heart can be an automatic reaction to suffering, like a music box wound up and set into motion. I see pain and suffering in front of me? I have to do something to make it go away. One person said it for all: “I have felt a powerful urge to try to give answers and fix the problem or try to relieve their pain. My struggle is to keep my hands off and listen. I know now that I have selfishly tried to relieve my own anxieties about another’s pain by trying to fix it and make it go away. This is me-centered, not other-centered.” Dr. Haugk’s counsel is this: “Instead of resisting or denying your anxieties and feelings of helplessness, use them to help you relate more compassionately to those who are suffering. Give even these parts of yourself to God in prayer and ask him to use you, despite your fears and concerns. He will.”
Now, this does not mean that the people you are ministering to won’t lead a conversation in the direction of thanks and praise to God – they may. They may not. But if they do, as Job was able to do in his time of darkness, you have permission to listen, not necessarily lead, to agree, not necessarily augment, to allow them to sing songs of faith to their own heavy heart, and then you know you are not pushing where they are not ready to go.
Jesus stepped among his troubled friends and said, “Peace be with you.” Notice what he doesn’t say. He doesn’t say something like, “I know this is a hard time for you, but let me tell you how hard it was for me when I was being tortured and crucified.”
When we’re unsure of what to say, we often fall back on our own experiences. Somehow we think that if we share how we felt during something similar in our lives a connection might be created that is comforting. Usually however, this practice is not helpful. When someone is hurting, unless a specific question is asked about our own experiences, we should resist the urge or even the need inside of us to tell “our story.” This moment is about their story; this family is deep in it; their minds are swirling and their hearts are breaking. For weeks, even months after, we should resist verbally connecting their present pain to our past pain, trusting that God will continue to comfort us as we comfort others.
So far from this passage, we’ve learned when people are hurting, we should go and stand among them, and speak God’s peace in their midst. We’ve learned not to let “canned” phrases come out of our mouths to try to cheer someone up. We’ve learned to let this time be about them, not about us.
What else does Jesus do? After he shows them his hands and side, he asks for food, and he eats it with them. He doesn’t rush off. He is “among them.” He is not afraid to stay with them. I don’t think we are very good at this. I know I’m not. I have been taught in seminary and other classes to keep visits with people to about 15-20 minutes. I’ve heard people speak about pastors who show up and won’t leave them alone. I don’t want to be that pastor. I’ve heard of pastors who come and eat people out of house and home. I definitely don’t want to be that pastor, either. But Jesus is teaching us something here – that it is okay to linger – to share a bite together. Maybe these disciples were so full of anxiety that it had been quite a while since they had eaten anything. That happens a lot in times of deep sorrow. Maybe in his peace-filled presence, they were finally able to fulfill the basic need of taking care of their bodies with food and drink. It’s something to consider.
And then, he spoke the truth of the scriptures to them. If you walk into a circumstance where people you care about are clothed in sorrow and grief, and stand or sit among them and say nothing more than “Peace be with you,” you’re providing what is called “The Ministry of Presence,” which is a very important ministry. Additionally, if you take your Bible in, or perhaps just a book of Bible promises, and read a couple of passages that you picked out before you walked in the door, you raise the faith in the room and do battle with the fears and doubts on behalf of your friends. You might quietly ask, “I’d like to read a couple of short verses. Is that okay with you?” This is a gift because often the family gets more emotional than they already are when they try to read the scriptures on their own. The power in God’s word can tear down our emotional defenses, but it can and does also build up our faith.
Finally, Jesus blessed them. There is tremendous power in the spoken blessing! We don’t have the particular words that he spoke, but we know that a blessing is meant to confer life and peace upon the other. And so a simple, “The Lord is with you. The Lord bless you,” is powerful and effective. And so, here’s a summary of what we’ve learned:
Go, be among the hurting. Don’t keep your distance. Share the comfort that you yourself have received from God.
Speak God’s peace out loud.
Don’t try to fix someone’s pain with false cheery phrases. Dr. Hougk wrote this little prayer, “Lord curb my clichés. When a platitude wants to pop out, put a plug in it for me. Stifle my simple fixes of others’ hurts. Let my words be yours, and speak the loving care of Christ through me, which is what you want those who are suffering to hear. Amen.” (p. 103)
Linger, perhaps share a bite of food or a cup of water with them (this is partly why we encourage a meal after a funeral – to allow time to linger together). It’s comforting.
Speak out a blessing before you leave.
Now, finally, in the Gospel of John, chapter 20, we have a similar account of Jesus coming to his disciples. But in John’s account, Jesus breathes on his disciples and says, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” This is a reminder to us that we, as believers, do not minister alone. We have the Holy Spirit within us. Jesus promised to send the comforter, the counselor, the teacher, the one who will remind us of all Jesus taught. The Holy Spirit lives within us – resides among us – and will help us know what to say, what not to say, what to do, and what not to do for those going through sorrowful times.
As members of the family of God, it is not okay to back away from a person who is struggling just because we’re afraid that we will mess up. We must choose to trust God’s Holy Spirit within us, we need to pray and pray some more, and we need to do as Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians: comfort others as we ourselves have been comforted.
I’d like to complete this sermon by reading the Epilogue from Dr. Hough’s book, Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart (pp. 149,150)
“I began this book by telling you that it comes “out of the fire.” It comes out of the fire of my hot sorrow and my resolve to make life more bearable for others who are suffering. It also comes from the fire of conviction. I have been the recipient of some very helpful caring and relating. I have even managed to do the right thing at the right moment myself from time to time. So I am convinced that what I am urging is attainable.
Caring in ways that meet the deepest needs of those who are hurting is within everyone’s power. Yours too, because it is within the power of Jesus Christ who is at work in you and through you. Those I interviewed for this book were asked this question, “What is your vision for yourself in being able to relate to those experiencing pain and suffering?” Among the many excellent answers I received, one person’s vision stands out:
I am a conduit of grace. As I enter a room,
I bring the full resources of God’s grace with me. My vision is to be such a presence
that one who hurts may drink deeply of this wonderful grace of God.
This person summarizes my hope for you. I hope you will be such a conduit as you encounter hurting individuals. And I hope that people with such a vision will surround you and bear you up when you are in the grip of life’s hurts and pains. Because of your desire to help, not hurt, and your prayerful compassion for others, I know you can be God’s grace to those who are suffering. Like the Good Samaritan in Luke 10, you are the one who will stop and give aid to the beaten person by the side of the road. You are the one.
I encourage you to enter into the fire of the suffering of others, to be God’s loving presence to them. And so I send you off with this blessing from 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24,
“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.” Amen.
